108005 Adult Filter Page - Mod

I posted this once on christmas day, and was not a good idea, so i am relisting it. I need a mod added for a script. The site is [login to view URL], basically the site is a funny videos, games, jokes etc site.. And right now I have some videos that are being added that have adult content. So basically what I need is something written, if someone visits an adult file, it must check if there logged in, and check there DOB. If both correct, proceed. If 1 correct, say your not old enough, if both not correct, say you need to register, or login to your account to view this content. I know programming, but I want to hand this job off, as I don't know the best way to go at it. Right now I do have an adult filter, for keywords, basically any title that has sexy, nude, etc will push google ads, instead of yahoo ads. With the signup, I know I will need, 1 form for age added to signup page. I will need a row added under users (sql)for dob. I will need a row added in media (sql) for adult content (default 0) true would be (1). And I am sure a few other things. The project really shouldn't be that hard. Basically, I need it so, if you are not logged in, or registered with the site, and try to view this file: [login to view URL] (18+ please!) You should get a page saying, this file may contain adult content, please login or register to view this file. (if logged in, and regged but not old enough, say something like sorry, you must be 18+ to view........ Also I will need a check in place for existing users, to tell them to update there profile with there DOB. (maybe something, if this is the first time you are seeing this page, (after logged in) please update your DOB by clicking here, or something. Please let me know your bids.