Programming jokes in codeJobb
...kunskaper inom programmering. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Would like to meet a programmer, to discuss an idea I have for how to change the reading of e-books. The problem is that I do not know any programmer who could help me complete the project. It would be good with some more insight as I do not have much knowledge in programming....
API Koppling mellan webbshop och kassasystem. Båda har öppen API. Kassasystemet heter eskassa och deras API skall kopplas till webbshopen.
Hey, I want a complete website like () but it should be mobile friendly. I create my own web pages so I could edit and manage the look. What I need the most help with the programming of all functions. As advanced search function, member page, where a member can post ads, manage, edit, etc. Hej, jag vill ha en komplett hemsida likt () men den ska vara mobilvänlig. Jag skapar själv webbsidor så jag skulle kunna redigera och sköta utseendet. Det jag behöver mest hjälp med är programering av alla funktioner. Så som avancerad sökfunktion, medlemssida, där en medlem kan lägga upp annonser, hantera, redigera etc.
excel vba programming convert excel sheet function into VBA
SEE ATTACHED Max budget: $99 March 25th deadline
Jag har pågående arbete relaterat till vårat tidigare projektpython programming'
I am looking for a skilled Scala programmer to assist me in developing a new Scala program. This task involves writing code from scratch, with the specific focus on utilizing the Spark framework. Key Responsibilities: - Developing a new Scala program using Spark - Ensuring the code is optimized and efficient for the desired data processing application Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in Scala programming, with a strong understanding of Spark - Experience with writing code from scratch - Background in data processing applications would be a plus
I'm in need of an experienced developer who can help with the final stages of a game I'm currently developing. The ideal candidate would have a strong background in C++ development, with a particular focus on graphics and 3D rendering. Main task is there when the clients runs for 4 or 5 hours there is a memory leak and we only need fix with memory leak. Key Requirements: - Proficiency with C++: As we're in the final stages of development, a strong understanding of C++ is essential. - Directx11 and Shader Knowledge: We're looking to implement cutting-edge graphical features in the game, so a solid grasp of Directx11 and shader programming is a must. Responsibilities: - Implementing 3D rendering and other graphics features in t...
I'm in need of a seasoned C# programmer with a proven track record in REST API integration and MS SQL Database management. Your primary task will be to create an interface between a C# application and FactoryTalk Optix software. Key Requirements: - Comprehensive experience in C# programming - Proven track record in developing REST APIs - Proficiency with MS SQL Database - Very familiar with FactoryTalk Optix software The primary goal of the REST API interface is to facilitate data exchange between applications. The interface should be able to handle text and numerical data. Please provide examples of previous REST API integrations and your specific experience with FactoryTalk Optix. Your understanding of data management and exchange will be cruc...
...years old and live in Latin America or Eastern Europe. ✻ NO EXPERIENCE REQUIRED ✻ You do not need any experience whatsoever; however, you must be clever and eager to learn. No. I am *not* being charitable; rather, I am being practical. ✻ PAYING YOU TO LEARN ✻ No. You aren't dreaming. I value intelligence and problem-solving ability over experience. I'd prefer to work with someone who is clever and learns quickly rather than someone experienced but is not very intelligent and/or does not solve problems scientifically. Would I hire an Isaac Newton or an Albert Einstein even if he had no programming experience? Of course I would. ✻ TESTS ✻ You must pass several difficult logic tests to work with me. The first logic test you complete for me will be an unpaid ...
I'm in need of a skilled web designer to help me create a well-structured and professional-looking business website. The site is primarily intended to provide comprehensive information about my company, its services, and its mission. Key Features: - Image Gallery: I'd like a visually appealing image gallery to showcase our work and products. - Contact Form: A user-friendly contact form is essential for visitors to get in touch with us. - Testimonials Section: I'm looking for a dedicated section where I can feature client testimonials and build credibility. Ideal Candidate: The ideal candidate for this job would be a web designer with extensive experience in e-commerce and portfolio website design. Key skills and experience include: - Proficiency in...
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I'm looking for a skilled developer to make modifications to an existing Codeigniter code for a grading system in smart-school.in. The ideal candidate will need to create custom tables and develop specific reports based on an actual module in the system. Freelancer will have no more than two hours to deliver, otherwise will cancel project! The project will involve: - **Custom Tables Creation**: I need a 'Grades' table to be created. This table will hold information on students' grades. - **Reports Generation**: I require reports to be generated. These reports will include crucial data to be accessed by the system as a whole. - **Condition Checking and Processing**: A condition needs to be integrated. If this condition is met, the system should pr...
The primary goal of my project is to significantly increase the efficiency of packet processing. Here is what I'm specifically looking for: - The developed kit should be compatible with the Windows Operating System. - Key features to enhance include faster packet forwarding, reduced latenc...significantly increase the efficiency of packet processing. Here is what I'm specifically looking for: - The developed kit should be compatible with the Windows Operating System. - Key features to enhance include faster packet forwarding, reduced latency, and improved throughput. Ideal candidates should possess a thorough understanding of network performance optimization and strong proficiency in programming for Windows OS. Prior experience with Data Plane Development Kit pro...
...(Model:MR-J5W3-222G) to control the Linear Motor (SMJ LMU) + Hall Sensor connected to Linear Motor (US2881 Melexis) - Writing code for controlling the servo driver from the Raspberry Pi - Testing and debugging the system - Providing support for any issues that may arise during the project Previous experience with Raspberry Pi and Panasonic Servo Drivers is a must. Additionally, the ideal candidate will have a strong understanding of programming in Python, as well as a background in robotics or industrial automation. GUI in Raspberry Pi will have START button. When we click on start button: Step 1: Communicate with Start Panasonic Servo Driver 1 to rotate the Servo motor in Clockwise direction and stop and a fixed position. This position we ...
I need a Python developer with experience working with the node SDK. The main goal is to develop Python scripts for automating tasks or processes using the SDK. The job includes: - Developing Python scripts using the node SDK - Automating tasks or processes Ideal candidates for this job should have: - Strong Python programming skills - Experience with the node SDK - Proven background in developing automation scripts - Understanding of software development best practices and coding standards - Good problem-solving skills Please bid if you have the required expertise.
I'm in need of a skilled PHP developer to write a clean, efficient code for sending international one-time passwords (OTPs) via Twilio's SMS gateway. Requirements: - The code should focus on user registration verification exclusively. - The code should be standalone, not requiring any integration with an existing system. - It must be international in scope, capable of sending SMS across the globe. Ideal Skills: - Strong PHP programming skills. - Experience working with Twilio's API for SMS. - Familiarity with international SMS regulations. - Attention to code efficiency and security.
I'm in need of a Python developer to create a Telegram bot specifically for individual users. The key features that are crucial to this project include messaging automation, user notifications, and the ability to execute custom commands. Key Requirements: - Expertise in Python programming, particularly in the context of Telegram bot development. - Strong understanding of Telegram bot API. - Experience in crafting automation and user notification features. - Ability to create a flexible, user-friendly interface for executing custom commands. - Attention to detail in order to ensure a smooth user experience. Automated responses to user queries: The bot needs to be capable of responding to a series of predefined queries, providing quick and ac...
I'm in need of a skilled developer who can merge my existing .exe and .bat files into a new installer for Windows OS. The installer will be command-line only, so no GUI is required. The requirements for the new installer are as follows: I want to combine an .exe file (A) with a .bat file (B) into a new installer. When the new installer is executed: - It should install (A) normally. - It should execute (B) in a hidden manner. Key Requirements: - Windows Defender Bypass - Bypass SmartScreen - Bypass Chrome Warning - Bypass AMSI - EDR + XDR Bypass - Expertise in C++: The .exe and .bat files are written in C++ and need to be merged into the installer seamlessly. Prior experience in working with C++ is a must. - Windows Compatibility: The new installer...
I'm looking for a skilled programmer with robust knowledge of Scala, Hive and Spark to work on a data-related project. Key Points: - The project focuses on coding - The primary tools involved are Scala, Spark, Hive - No specific area of computer science is listed, just the programming languages Ideal candidate should be proficient in: - Scala, Spark, Hive - Data analysis and processing - Building scalable applications Previous experience in these areas would be a big plus.
...create a URL endpoint in Python that removes background from images. The objective is to utilize a free tool like rembg or similar, and host this service on a free platform such as Hugging Face. Here are the key details: - The endpoint will be integrated with my server. When an image URL is posted to this endpoint, it should process the image and return it without its background. Key Requirements: - The endpoint should be implemented in Python, as per my preference. - It should support the common image formats like JPEG, PNG, WEBP etc. I will be positing images from my PHP server to this endpoint. - I require specific requirements for API authentication. A secure authentication method should be implemented to ensure only authorized users can access the endpoint. - All ...
I'm in need of a highly skilled programming team who can design and develop a live streaming social media app for me. The core feature must be real-time commenting and interaction. This app will need to be fully customized with the development of unique functions. Your role in this project will be to: - Design and develop a live streaming social media app - Implement real-time commenting and interaction - Fully customize the app with unique features - Ensure the app is user-friendly and secure Ideal skills for this project include: - Proficient in live streaming app development - Experience with social media app development - Strong programming skills - Creative thinking for unique feature development - UI/UX design capabilities - Security and pri...
I'm currently looking for experienced Cs-cart developers to assist with the development of a new site and Mobile apps Only Apply if you have experienced in cs-cart ( ) PHP software I have installed unitheme So we need same features I will share reference Built using open source technologies, PHP/MySQL, Smarty, CS-Cart is flexible and highly customizable software making it easy to modify the program and extend its functionality according to your needs Key requirements include: - - Experience with online stores, especially those dealing with physical goods. - Implementing top-notch e-commerce features, including but not limited to product listings, categorization, and secure checkout. - Designing a user-friendly and visually appealing interface that aligns with...
...proficiency in a varied set of languages, including HTML, CSS, C++, Python, C, Java, and JavaScript. The primary goal of this project is to create a desktop application with a focus on web development. Key Requirements: - Proficiency in HTML, CSS, C++, Python, C, Java, and JavaScript - Strong understanding and experience in developing desktop applications - Ability to implement web development principles into a desktop application Your main tasks will include: - Designing and developing a desktop application - Implementing elements of web development into the application, focusing on HTML, CSS, and JavaScript - Ensuring the application is efficient and functional across different platforms Ideal candidates for this project will have a strong portfolio demonstrati...
...details, associating funds with open invoices, updating balances and status in real-time. Built with extensibility and scalability in mind, the plugin must integrate seamlessly into our PHP-based platform. I'll bring considerable insight into recurring billing cycles and payment workflows from previous related projects. I can provide thorough specifications depicting all required data fields, payment routes, and interface specifications. The selected developer will enjoy full creative control to architect innovative payment solutions tailored precisely to our distinctive operational needs. Experience designing payment gateways or similar e-commerce addons is preferred. Strong object-oriented programming skills in PHP are essential. Open lines of commun...
I'm in need of a C# program that can communicate with a REST API and retrieve data in JSON format. Key Requirements: - The program should be able to establish a connection with the specified REST API and retrieve data in JSON format. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in C# programming language - Experience with REST APIs and JSON data format - Strong understanding of data retrieval techniques Please note that I'm only looking for a C# program that can successfully retrieve data from a REST API in JSON format.
If you are expert in c programming please get in touch , I have a straight forward task which i need assistance today. Thanks!
As the owner of this project, I am looking for a detailed-oriented professional with proven experience in Java and JUnit test case writing. The main task will be to write JUnit test cases in Java. Unfortunately, specific functionalities to validate or the particular purpose of the test cases were not defined. With this information, the freelancer can propose a comprehensive and efficient solution. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Hands-on Java programming and understanding of the JUnit testing framework. - Experience with various testing scenarios considering different types of Java codes. - Exceptional problem-solving skills and proven ability to create and execute effective strategies. - Strong debugging skills. - Excellent written communication skills for providing c...
As a panel builder looking to enhance my PLC programming skills, I require the assistance of an expert tutor. - Proficiency in PLC: I need a tutor conversant with all the elements of PLC programming, specifically logic programming and HMI development. - Brand Preference: To align with what I am currently working with, I require tutors who have had experience with Schneider PLC systems. The ideal candidate would be experienced in tutorials and should ensure I level up from my current PLC programming skills, focusing more on the logic programming and HMI development within the Schneider PLC system frame. i have a small project i need to start straight away using an M221 and another project using an M580 i need to start looking at idealy w...
I am in need of a skilled Python developer to assist with compiling a Python project into an executable file for Windows. Key Responsibilities: - Compile a Python desktop application into an executable file that can be run on Windows. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in Python programming. - Experience with compiling Python applications into executable files. - Knowledge of Windows development environments and tools. This is a straightforward task, but I require someone with experience in compiling Python programs for Windows, as I am keen on ensuring the final product is suitable for distribution and use on Windows operating systems.
I am looking for a skilled developer who has experience working with Rust and CrustyDB to help implement a few operators for a Query Execution Engine. Key Objectives: - Impleme...working with Rust and CrustyDB to help implement a few operators for a Query Execution Engine. Key Objectives: - Implement join operators to support more complex queries Ideal Skills: - Proficient in Rust and CrustyDB programming - Familiarity with database systems and query execution - Understanding of join operators and how they function within a database system The deliverables will be clear, well-commented code that is consistent with the project's instructions, which can be found in the provided link. Your focus will be on implementing join operators, so experience and und...
...Expertise in handling Google API and maps features would be highly valuable here. - Enhancing Google Search: Any experience with improving Google search results would be a significant advantage, indicating an understanding of SEO practices and how they apply to location-based searches. - Review Updates: Expertise in manipulating review-based APIs is required, as we aim to streamline our website's review integration process. Experience with database management would be a bonus in order to both effectively manage and present the reviews. Ideally, we'd like to work with someone who has a robust understanding of Google's suite of APIs and relevant programming knowledge. Being detail-driven, capable of manually inputting data carefully and correc...
I'm looking for a skilled developer who can create a program that will facilitate the sending of multiple emails from an excel spreadsheet, with a PDF attachment. Key requirements include: - Using Gmail as...frequency of sending emails is irregular. The main responsibilities of the program are: - Extracting email addresses and any other necessary information from the spreadsheet. - Attaching a PDF to each email. - Sending out the emails. Ideal skills: - Proficiency in Python or similar programming language. - Experience in working with Gmail API. - Proven track record in developing email automation tools. Please note that while personalization is not currently required, the program should be built in a way that adding personalization features ...
I'm in need of an experienced programmer to dabble into creating new movements for an ABB IRB 6700 robot. Specific Tasks: - Program new movements for the ABB IRB 6700 - Iteratively test and refine the movements as required It's not necessary to adhere to any pre-set programming standard; rather, you'll have the freedom to apply your own judgement and expertise in this task. Ideal Skills: - Profound knowledge in ABB robots - Exceptional programming skills - Problem-solving abilities - Excellent communication skills to effectively report the progress It's an advantage if you have previous experience on similar projects. Looking forward to reviewing your bids!
I'm in need of a professional to design and develop a customized banner website. It will need to be fully compatible for mobile browsing. Key Features: - Customization: The website should offer various customization options, with a live preview of the customized content. - PDF Export: The system should be able to convert the final design into a PDF format for printing. - Online Payment and Shipping: The site will need to integrate with Taiwan's Green World Technology payment gateway and logistics systems from Taiwan Post, 7-Eleven, and FamilyMart. - Admin Panel: A backend admin panel is required for managing customer orders. - Google Maps Integration: The website should be linked to Google Maps. - Image Slider: The site should have a feature allowing a full site image ca...
...design and implement a code that will graphically visualize the Critical Path Method (CPM) and Program Evaluation and Review Technique (PERT) networks in project management. Requested to implement a program in Java programming language and graphically visualize the network/graph generated as a result of executing the Critical Path Method (CPM) and Program Evaluation and Review Technique (PERT) in Project Management. Key functionalities include: - Generating CPM network - Generating PERT network - Graphically visualizing CPM network - Graphically visualizing PERT network The code should be designed to take input of project tasks, duration and their dependencies, creating a detailed and clear diagrammatic network. Skills and Experience: - ...
I have a lot of data in a spreadheet. Have a look at attached spreadsheet. I need the sheet named "auto made" to be automaticly made. (it is now manually filled with data) What triggers data to be in "auto made" sheet is the value 1 in Ordre!B column. If no value in Ordre!B column the "auto made" sheet will only have headers. Description on where the data is from is described in row 10 in "auto made" sheet. This row 10 need to be deleted to make the spreadsheet work for my import
I'm in need of a Python GUI software to automate sending messages through Google Voice. The software should be able to perform the following functions: - Send messages to individual contacts on Google Voice - Support precise date and time scheduling for these messages -Automated Sending with customized message example: message example {name} and {adsress} -Custom delay settings for each message -Multiple Profile Sender (custom threads) with multiple Proxy support (enable/disable proxy) -Auto login accounts - Auto Skip Terminated Accounts -License system for users -Sending reports Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficient in Python programming - Experience in developing GUI applications - Familiarity with Google Voice API is a definite plus - Strong under...
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I need to find someone to fix a wordpress website error containing 5000 articles and 404 products, suspected of being infected with malicious code due to containing many strange files. The admin page can still access the article product pages, but there is a 404 error
...dashboard. 2.Programming and Development: Build core platform functionalities using Laravel, including product management, order processing, user management, and reporting. Integration: Integrate major payment gateways and ensure transaction security. Security: Implement high security standards to safeguard data. and Optimization: Conduct comprehensive testing to ensure the platform operates efficiently and optimize based on feedback. Dashboard: Include all features and capabilities for managing and displaying all details, adding packages, themes, and applications through it. Required Skills: •Advanced experience with Laravel framework and PHP. •Strong frontend development skills using HTML, CSS, and JavaScript. •Experience in integrating APIs
I'm looking for a Dafny developer to support me in the completion of existing code. I need him to pass verification of the code by the instructions exactly. it requires knowledge in proofs, using lemmas. Key Responsibilities: - Complete existing code in Dafny - Conduct code verification and ensure it passes successfully - Ensure the code is coherent and properly structured Requirements: - Proficient in Dafny - Extensive experience with complex algorithms and data structures - Able to work with well-documented code and project requirements - Strong problem-solving skills - Excellent communication skills, as we will need to discuss certain parts of the code Prior experience with similar projects and a good ...
Write mobile responsive html code. 222 words, 4 images. Some design work needed.
...professional adept in R Programming and equipped with expertise in econometrics. The goal of the project is to prepare an in-depth mini-paper analysing the effect of Italy's government expenditure on its economic growth from 2002 to 2022. I'm attaching an example for clear understanding. The job will entail: - Data Preparation: Use R Programming to prepare tables and plots utilizing sales, customer, and inventory datasets. - Econometric Analysis: Focusing on the impact of government spending on Italy's economic progress within the stipulated time frame. - Insightful Report: Conclude with a comprehensive report discussing findings and implications within the economic outlook. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in R Programming ...
I'm looking for a full stack developer to work on a web application. I'm open to discuss the programming languages and tech stack based on your recommendations and expertise. The ideal candidate should have experience with full stack development and be able to work on a variety of tasks. Your responsibilities in this project would include: - Developing a web application with high functionality and user experience. - Implementing best practices in software development. - Ensuring the project is delivered on time and within budget. If you are interested, please provide a brief summary of your experience and why you'd be a good fit for this project. Additionally, let me know about any relevant projects you've worked on.
...layout. - Clear input fields and drop-down menus. - Summary dashboard displaying total costs and profit. 5. **Customization and Flexibility:** - Ability to save and edit project estimates. - Export estimates to PDF or Excel. - Option to include additional cost factors (e.g., permits, equipment rental). **Requirements:** - Experience in developing cost estimation tools or similar applications. - Proficiency in relevant programming languages and software. - Strong understanding of commercial construction processes and cost factors. - Ability to integrate current market data for accurate cost estimation. **Deliverables:** - Fully functional estimator tool meeting the above specifications. - Documentation detailing the use and maintenance of the tool. ...
