Guards Of Eden

The Goal: Get me elected President. (Laughter dies down.) I need something like a Global A-Team. I've already assembled several able-bodied individuals from different parts of the world into a modest little Facebook group called Guards Of Eden. The Facebook group is named my old band from the 90's. Three original albums. Good songs. Positive messages. We were a wild bunch of kids riding around to all the honky tonks in South Carolina singing songs with refrains, "Don't wanna be no big man. Runaway and join your Ku Klux Fucked Up Klan." I never wanted to get into politics. I hated that shit. I just can't believe how unbelievably retarded it has become. Yes, I am going to say the R word from time to time. I am a centrist. Not a Democrat. Not a Republican. I'm not part of a tribe. I won't agree with some of your views. You won't agree with some of mine. You'll think a lot of my ideas are downright hair-brained, and most of them are and will be. At the risk of immodesty, I feel like I think I've figured this thing out. Like, imagine The Professor from Money Heist. Imagine the new season of Money Heist is all about the Professor's plan to get elected President and then the next season is about how he figures out how to solve a bunch of shit that should have already been solved by now. I think I have that plan and few people have been able to find any holes in the plan. In holes either in the execution of the plan or the general platforms and solutions for our nation. I would love to see someone do it. I don't know if someone like a John Stewart or Dwayne Johnson or Tom Hanks would ever just run. But no one seems to be making a move. So fuck it. I'll give it a shot. I've got a lot of interesting and useful talents and tricks in my toolbag. I'm intelligent and agreeable. I'm well-versed in history, science, math, philosophy, and psychology as well as many other things. I'm an authentic storyteller and a meticulous writer. I'm a bit of a showoff like to think I'm silver-tongued. At least that's what I was called. I recently met a Serbian woman. She was a high school teacher in Nigeria. She had a remarkable story. Didn't wake up one morning. In a coma for a week. Came out of the coma apparently the victim of a stroke. Doctors told her she'd never walk again. A week later, her friend took her to see the film Bohemian Rhapsody. The next day she walked. She told me that story after she told me I was the most amazing man in the world and offered to marry me and have my babies. I have the screenshots. I posted one Thursday that I'd be out on the coast of South Carolina that weekend if any of my coastal high school football buddies wanted get together to eat and talk. That Saturday morning, my friend in Rock Hill (far from the coast) rolled over and checked his Facebook and saw I was hosting a lunch in Summerville at noon. He told his wife they had 19 minutes to shower and shit and get on the road. Later he sent me a screenshot of his speedometer in his car. He was doing 90 mph trying to make it on time for this lunch. This lunch turned into a 6 hour TedTalk. When I get back to where I was staying my buddy told me that my story was just awesome and I should write a novel. I've don't stand up comedy five times, toured the tri state area in a band for 3 years. Stayed off all drugs and booze until I was 46 years old and yes that story is compelling. I was on the news with an invention that everyone, drivers and cops alike, agreed would prevent a lot of deaths during traffic stops. I need a crew. A team. A filmmaker. An IT professional who can build a bad ass website. (I know how to take down Amazon and YouTube and Facebook and create a new global stock exchange.) I need some go getters. Writers. Influencers, Motors, Content Creators, Podcasters, editors, musicians, writers, angel investors. I need the whole package and I'll show you have to make it all fly. Just meet with me on camera for a couple of hours.